Paris… The final chapter

Miles ran since last blog: 0

Total miles ran since blog started: 633.7

Positivity Score: 100

Although it’s only been a week and a bit since the marathon, it seems like it’s a lifetime ago and I have found this really hard to write. A week ago, it would have been full of sheer delight and pure elation and a lot of ramblings, writing about looking at marathons in Athens, Dublin and Lochness, looking at weekends away and medals.  Alas, this week I am looking at my trainers thinking I still need a little time. I haven’t been well since the marathon, there were no new aches and pains and I felt pretty much the same as I did after a long run, but it’s clearly taken a toll on my body and that’s what I need to listen to before pounding the streets, if indeed I do pound the streets again of course.  For the record I definitely will, I have 6 races booked thus far and still the 1000 mile challenge to complete too. Anyway, back to the job in hand…..my first Marathon.

As you know a story always has a start, a middle and an end (I did learn something in English). The start was exciting, the middle gruelling with a hint of yuk, a smidge of fun, a dash of overwhelment and a pinch of amazement. Then finally the end, well the end I will struggle to put into words without really sounding quite mental but here it is.

This is how Sunday the 3^rd April 2016 went for me, my first marathon, the end to what has been an all-consuming time in my life and as I write this a smile spreads on my face and my tummy fizzes nicely, no washing machine cycles, sickness or nerves, just a nice warm feeling, a bit like chocolate wine trickling down my throat.

 

….As we had said goodbye to the babies, Ross and I left the hotel and walked the short walk to the Metro station. It was very clear that it was Marathon day, everywhere we looked people were in gym wear, a stark contrast to the day before where it just seemed

What its all about…

like my little family of 4 were the only ones taking part in the Paris breakfast run. I felt ok at this point, quite calm and looking forward to it, as previously said I LOVED the breakfast run, my legs were itching to get on and do it.  The public transport in France is amazing we never had to wait longer than a few minutes for a train and everything was so straight forward, before long we were sitting down and silently watching people chatting, laughing and joking. Ross and I were deep in thought about what I don’t really know, me probably hoping that I can do it and him probably thinking knowingly what I had in store. As the train was waiting at the second station on what we believed was our straightforward journey to the start, a message in French came over the loudspeaker. Now I can’t speak French, but Ross heard the name of a station we were going to and then there was a mad rush of people leaving the train. Ross grabbed my hand and we were off too. The plans were now out of the window and we just followed anyone wearing one of the free green rucksacks that has been given out at registration. It was clear it was going to be a hot day, the sky was a beautiful blue.  There were people everywhere, taking pictures, hugging, being busy and there was an air of excitement and long queues for the loo.  Time was ticking and as I wasn’t sure on how the whole bag drop off works or how far my start was, so I said to Ross that we should start getting ourselves sorted, we put my number on my vest and my wrist pacer and put my hoody in my bag. I had brought a bin bag with me so that if it was cold I could put it on to keep warm and then throw it away before I started, this was the last thing that was needed, people were putting sun cream on at this point.

 

The walk to the baggage area was quite long and I was glad that we had left enough time to

Walking to the baggage area…

not be rushing about, for all those that are doing the London Marathon, Ross says it’s much easier.  People were rushing past us, desperate to get rid of their bags and get themselves to the start line, when we eventually get to the barriers for our bags to be security checked we realised that Ross wouldn’t be able to come in with me! Gasp! Panic.  ‘You will be fine’ he says, ‘drop your bag into the zone that it says on your bib and carry on walking though, I will meet you at the other end’. ‘OK’ I reply.  My heart starting to quicken, just so that you  know I was really very capable before I met Ross but he looks after me so well, I am getting less and less so.  I drop my bag in and quickly realise that I needed his pockets, I am balancing my banana, phone, earphones, and arm band in my hands and decide at this point I need the loo. Food in a portaloo not good but what could I do….

I met up with Ross at the Arc de Triomphe and we made our way to the 4.30 finishers Pen, I feel sick to my stomach. I look at Ross and he looks at me, my face must have said that I needed reassurance,  and he tells me that I will be great and to drink lots of water. ‘Don’t worry about time Laura, just get round, do you want me to see if I can get you a hat?’, ‘No, it’s fine’ I respond, if nothing else I will get a tan. I kiss him goodbye and get into the queue.  I am so scared! A feeling that I might have come close to just before the MK 20 mile

Walking to the pens…

race but magnified by a 100! We start shuffling along and I feel so alone.  I hear my name being called through the metal fence, its Ross. I look at him and tears sting my eyes, there was nothing I could do or say, I cannot explain how I felt.  An Australian lady next to me put her arm around me and told me it will be ok and to stop looking so petrified, she said she recognised the look on my face and that this was her 5^th marathon and it won’t be my last as I will love it. I am not so sure I think to myself.  We carry on walking through and then we all just stop, waiting patiently. I was suddenly so thirsty, something that never happens before a race and that was the first time that I thought that this wasn’t going to go as I had planned mentally. I took a sip of my drink and just stood there, quietly talking to my Grandad in my head asking him to help me finish.  I am quite short so there wasn’t much for me to see. I felt like a child at a concert, I could hear the music but could see nothing.  We waited for what seemed like an eternity, then we would shuffle forward and I would quickly get my garmin watch ready and press play on my phone ipod, then we would stop again… This happened a few times, each time my anxiety grew until suddenly we walked for a little while, this was it! We were gonna be off! There were men and women on the podiums dancing and getting us excited, Rhianna (my favourite running singer) was blaring out of the speakers and I thought to myself this is going to be awesome! This is going to be amazing! So much so I took my headphones out of my ears and stuffed them in my bra, I didn’t need my music, I don’t want to miss a thing! I turned the screen brightness down on my phone to save the battery and put it back on my arm.  People were taking off clothes and chucking them at the centre.  My heart was ready, my head was ready, my legs were ready, the inflatable start line was clearly in view and we crossed the line.  I was finally running my marathon. I looked at my watch and I was going slow, but words of advice were going through my head, start off slow and then go slower.  Suddenly all I could hear was thud, thud, thud….my feet.  Where was the music? Where were the crowds? This wasn’t right… Oh no…. I quickly scrabbled in my bra for my earphones to put in my ears, I took my armband off and went to get my music on but because I had turned the screen brightness down and the sun was so so bright, I couldn’t see the phone screen.  Help! I looked in front to see if shade was coming, it wasn’t. I just kept on trying to tap the code in until eventually it worked, I pressed play and put it back on my arm.  I was flustered by then and was mentally trying to ease myself back to where I needed to be.  I hadn’t had a chance to do my mental health check yet, so this was a bit later than normal, it didn’t feel right, nothing felt right.  I tried so hard to just concentrate and try to get myself into the zone, I needed some musical inspiration to lift me up but instead every slow song that I have ever bought was playing in my ears. I must have hit a different playlist, it wasn’t my running tracks at all. I took one earphone out of my ears to see if I could get some atmosphere but there wasn’t any, everyone was quiet. There were a few supporters but not many at this point and I remember feeling a little confused, this

All penned in just after my blub….

wasn’t how I imagined it to be. We were coming up to mile 3 and I knew that’s where my family would be waiting, the crowds were getting bigger and I was eagerly looking around.  Please don’t miss them I was saying to myself.  It suddenly seemed so busy and I realised it was the 3 mile water station, people were just stopping, stopping in a race! I couldn’t believe it… People were munching on bananas and oranges, I couldn’t get through.  It was so very hot that I thought I had better get some water, it was a bit of a fight.  Ross was here at this point but I didn’t see him and he didn’t see me, he has since told me that he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.  The floor was slippery from the fruit and that’s when I felt my tummy rumble, had I not seen the food would I have even thought of food? I don’t know but the realisation that I hadn’t eaten my porridge was clear, I was hungry, again something that had never happened in a race before.  I carried on running trying to get my rhythm back, still eagerly waiting to see Ross, my children, my mum, stepdad and my mother and father in law, suddenly the crowds were gone and the realisation of me missing them hit me hard. We just all carried on running, I was still on track for my time at this point, but it was getting harder.  If we spotted a bit of shade from a building en-route, we would all gravitate towards it, there wasn’t much apart from a little square but the respite was lovely.  As much as it was hard work it really was a beautiful day and I remember thinking that at least it was nice for the supporters, especially my family wherever they were!!

The next thing I recall is seeing Ross at mile 7, it was great, he ran with me for a while and I was saying how much I was struggling and that my throat was hurting, he told me again to keep getting water, I said that I think I need some tablets.  I told him that I hadn’t seen anyone and asked where the others were, he said that they were waiting on the wrong side of the Bastille, so were actually at mile 14. That seemed like an eternity away, I wasn’t even sure at that point if I would get to mile 14.  We said our goodbyes and he has since told me that I looked terrible, I think we both knew at that point that I wasn’t getting the time I was aiming for but did it matter? No, not at that point.

I carried on with the sun still beating down and as I wiped my eye my contact lense came out. I can’t believe it! This is something that normally takes me ages to do, but now suddenly came as natural as sneezing.  I remember thinking great! What do I do now? I just took the other one out, of course not as easily, I mean why would it come out easily?! Just so you know picking at your eye whilst running and holding a water bottle isn’t the easiest thing to do, I am surprised it wasn’t at that point that a photographer burst out of nowhere to snap me forever! The timings are now all a blur, the crowds were intermittent, there were bands, flags, banners and cheers every now and then, but there were also long lonely miles that felt very similar to my training runs. There were water stops and fruit breaks and at the halfway point we were all just stuffing it in our mouths. I remember thinking of Oliver Twist. I must have been so dehydrated that even with all the water I drank I didn’t need the loo at all, unlike others that just stopped by the road, or went behind the skinniest of trees. The amazing thing was, no one even battered an eyelid and to be honest if I needed to, I would have done it as well.

At mile 14 I saw my wonderful son, I know it was mile 14 as he remembers, the best sight ever! He ran with me and I was saying that I can’t do it and it feels harder than any run before, ‘Yes you can’ he says, ‘You can do this! Mum, walk if you need to, its fine!’ I said I am really behind time and he was telling me it doesn’t matter as long as I finish it, it doesn’t matter.  He said that my mum and everyone were waiting around the corner and that he is so proud of me and loves me, just writing this down pricks my eyes.  I really do have the most amazing children.  We said our goodbyes and I was eagerly waiting to see everyone.  Laura, LauRA, LAURA… I see them, I see them! I grab them in turn and kiss them all, Glynis gave me a throat soother, Ross gave me some paracetamol and I was off again. For the next mile I couldn’t remember if I had seen Amy, I was worried I had ignored her.  Ross didn’t think I would stop and I am so glad I did at this point, especially as they had been waiting quite a while.  I kept going… Again the timelines are a blur, I saw people collapsing, sitting down and walking off, sirens were a regular noise. People were ripping their Asics wrist pacers and throwing them on the floor. We went down two or three tunnels, (it might have one been one?!, I don’t know), the relief to get out of the sun was amazing, I was so very tired but made sure I ran as fast as I could through them, so that when I came out the other side it was like just putting one foot in the other, but in slow motion again.

Alive, smiling and running…

I saw my family again at about mile 19 and made sure I made a fuss of Amy, they were saying I looked better and I did feel better, the time was gone and the pressure lifted. The next thing I remember not long after this, is that my arm felt numb so I took my armband off as I was worried I would be the next to collapse, when I had my health check just after my 40^th Birthday it showed that I had an irregular heartbeat. I had to have an ECG which found that my heart was slow, would skip a beat and then beat normally again, in between the nurse saying this and my follow up appointment my results were lost and I kept meaning to go again. This hadn’t really crossed my mind in the months that had followed but suddenly it was all I could think about. On a positive though I didn’t collapse and the photo around this time is fantastic! I am amazed at how it turned out, I haven’t ever had a good picture and I am so chuffed that on my big one it came out ok, oh and of course that I am still alive to see it!

At around mile 21 I caught up with a group of runners that were pushing a cart with a person sitting in it and I am guessing it was the person that they were running for. They were so happy and singing and cheering and we all joined in as best as we could, it was

Can you see me?

very uplifting, at about the same time I saw a man pushing a buggy and a woman running on crutches.  It reminded me of stories I had heard of people dressed as aardvarks overtaking you which gave me a little lift for a mile or so, if they can, I can! The lift that it had given soon ended and at about mile 23 I stopped.  I was done. I had nothing more to give. I did think of the charities, the sponsorship and I did try to think of the people that I was running for, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t do anymore.  It was then that I got a tap on my shoulder and a voice saying carry on, you can do this! ‘I can’t’, I said, ‘You can!’ was the reply and with that I started again. It wasn’t my guardian angel by the way, it was a lady from Swansea running for the Stroke Association and we started chatting. I asked her how it was going and she agreed it was so hard, she said her training was brilliant, but nothing like this. The sun had been too much to deal with, I said I was the same, I said we can still get 5 hours and that’s what we hoped to achieve. I wouldn’t have got that time without her. I have since found her through the Stroke Association as I didn’t get a chance to thank her on the day.

The crowds were starting to build up, the end was in sight and then the most amazing thing happened! Amy, my daughter, was running towards me, I grabbed her (as you would) and burst into tears, I wasn’t thinking, I was just running. I didn’t look for the rest of my family, if I had seen them I would have hugged them forever and never let go.  We could still be there… about half a mile later I realised I still had hold of Amy’s hand, I said ‘My darling it seems you are finishing this marathon with me’.  It crossed my mind that I would be disqualified, but I would know that I had achieved it and that is all that really matters.  A little while later we FINISHED! I had run a MARATHON.  I picked up my medal and all the other lovely bits and pieces and felt fine, I felt great. There were people all around me elated and disappointed, I was not sure how you could be disappointed with your end time, until recently.  Ross called and we arranged to meet where we had met 5 hours before. It was great to see everyone, we hugged and laughed and chatted and then we headed straight to a pub! IT WAS AMAZING! I felt on top of the world, a feeling I will never ever forget.  It hurt to go down stairs but that was it.  I saw some horrible sights of people on stretchers, oxygen masks, blood on tops (men and woman) and a poor, poor man that must have chaffed so greatly his white shorts were now red.  I felt very lucky.

You have no idea how much I have had to cut out, it’s a story that I could tell a million times and will never get bored of telling. Memories were made that day, memories that will live with us for such a long time! It sounds dramatic but it really has been a hard slog to get to that point! I know people run marathons over and over with little regard but it wasn’t like that for me, I had to work so hard, be so motivated, determined, selfish and disciplined to get to that point! I learnt so much about me and my family and friends! I knew early on who was behind me no matter what and I will never forget it! I knew at the start it wasn’t my race time-wise but it was still my race and one that I had worked so hard for, yes I wanted to quit a few times but I didn’t. I had kept plugging away and I am so pleased I did.  The marathon raised so much money £4,100 so far and I hope to make £4,700 soon.  The charities are chuffed as am I.  As previously said, I have made so many good friends over this time and its been the best thing I have ever done. So will I do another one? Without a doubt.  I want to see what it’s like just for me, I want to see if I have a 4.30 marathon in me and I want to see if I want to pursue it or move onto something else.  Our weekend in beautiful Paris was brilliant and the Marathon a very small part, did it make it difficult, travelling, sight-seeing, breakfast runs and late nights? Yes, probably.  Would I change a thing? Absolutely not!

Celebrating…. 

So that’s it, my Marathon story. I really want to say a heartfelt thanks for listening, supporting and being fantastic and I hope that if ever get the chance to do the same for you, I will.  Laura did Paris and I hope you enjoyed the ride!

All my love

Laura

xxx

We did get up there, the day after the Marathon!

Paris…. Part one

Us at the station….

 

Miles ran since last blog: 31.6

Total miles ran since blog started: 633.7

Positivity Score: 10

As I am sitting here about to write my final entry on how my first (do you see I haven’t written last) marathon went, so many thoughts are firing around my mind and it suddenly has dawned on me that running the actual race was a very small part of what was an amazing weekend. The marathon was something truly fabulous, sandwiched in a weekend that I will never forget. With this in mind and as you probably know with my mind, I forget very quickly, it seems wise to split my last post into two.  Marathon and rest of the weekend.  Let’s start with the rest of the weekend…

Friday 1st April 2016 – We were up early, all packed and ready to go, but I mainly wandered around in circles, mentally marking checklists, making sure I have everything. My children’s passports expire on the 11th April, I checked and checked again online that they were valid, but until we were through that security gate I wouldn’t officially be able to panic about other things , for instance my different names and my medical certificate at the Paris Expo.

My heart was in my mouth as we are going through security. I was having thoughts that I would need to ring their dad to come and pick the squids up. Would I still go? Would I be able to run without them? Luckily everything was fine (of course) and no questions were asked. Well apart from when Border Control asked Amy ‘Who is that?’ pointing to me, luckily she said my Mum and not Laura, as we have different names. I was then briefed that I should bring their birth certificates when travelling. On a slightly separate note, I have since found out that when I change my passport to my married name, I will also have to bring my marriage

We are here….

certificate along for the ride.  Oh how complicated life can be…..anyway. We find our seats on the train and it’s all rather nice, chatting away, playing games and reading. I am with my favourite people, this is going to be so so lovely and I did think to myself that it would be nice to just get the marathon out of the way on the Saturday because Sunday seemed a way off still. Every time I thought of it my tummy would flip, but as we were going through the tunnel life seemed good. This changed quite quickly when we came out the other side, the first thing we all did is check our phones (sign of the times) there were comments of, ‘oh look my time has changed automatically’ followed by someone else saying ‘oh mine hasn’t’, discussions on who was the provider now and cries of ‘how do we turn the data off again?’.  ‘Mine isn’t working at all’ I say, ‘is yours Ross?’. ‘No, it’s not’ he says, ‘give it time’… an hour passed and they were both still as useless as an ashtray on a motorbike, we couldn’t phone, search or contact anyone. Panic set in… ‘Ross music? My music? How will I get my music?’. ‘ Don’t worry Laura we will sort it’.  We had just signed up for a new deal before we went, to make sure we had enough data and were on the right plan for a) contacting each other when I got myself lost b) so he could track me c) I had my music d) I could access all social media at all times.  It turns out we didn’t seem to get the plan we’d signed up to after all… Long story short, we never did fix it, EE are rubbish and they do not know what has truly hit them yet.

Once we got to Paris it was all so easy. The metro was quick and simple to understand and our hotel was right outside Volontaires station.  The hotel was like a little boutique, so lovely and you could see the tip of the Eiffel Tower.  We unpacked then headed straight for the Expo to pick up our bits and pieces for the breakfast run and the big event, which

Gulp….

fortunately enough was only another couple of stops away from our hotel. Waves of fear, panic and excitement was coursing through me, clearly noticeably as my mum kept squeezing my hand and whispering, that I will be fine and that I am her little hero, which made me smile. We came out of the station and turn the corner and we see the big ‘le Salon du Running’ sign, tears spring to my eyes for the first time during the weekend. I wasn’t sure if it was fear, excitement or panic that I hadn’t completed the paperwork correctly. Amy put her arm around me which was handy as at that point I tripped over the metal barrier, they say laughing is the best medicine and it’s true.  As Ross promised everything would be fine, they completed the very quick checks and we got everything that we needed. We posed for pictures and everyone around us was on a high, it was really well structured and again all really painless and well organised. We had a look around and I suddenly felt so much calmer, there was a huge wall with every runners name on and we had a quick look to try and find my name. I quickly gave up, but Ben being Ben was not going to and after about 5 mins of looking he found me. Another quick picture stop and we ventured into the retailers area. By this time we were all starving and getting a

Here I am…

little tired, so we rushed through this area toward the exit and decided to grab something to eat before going elsewhere. We went to the nearest restaurant that we could see and had some lovely food. The mums wine looked delicious as did the boys beer, not long now I thought. Afterwards we decided to venture to the Eiffel Tower, but by now it was getting late and it was quite blowy. The queues to take the trip to the top were quite big and by the time we would have got up there it would be dark, much to the children’s disappointment we decided to leave the Eiffel Tower tour to another day.  The disappointment quickly subsided though and we were all pretty tired, we also had to be up early the next day for the Breakfast Run.  I had a terrible sleep, but woke with excitement, I had been looking forward to this day more so than the marathon.  My family have been so supportive of my running, the moans, the groans, the elation and highs. I wanted them to experience a little of what I had been working towards and what the next day would be like, Ross physically shudders at the thought of long distance running, his two London marathons have clearly broken him and no matter what, I can’t seem to talk him into another one.  I have wondered many times if it will break me too, if I will shudder at the thought.  I know the answer to this now…. you will soon.  Amy is so excited and Ben… well Ben is 16.  Inside he is excited, he has to be right? Running in Paris? How many can say this? We get ready in the bright blue t-shirts and mini Union flags, we have been given and I am bursting with love and pride. As we venture out of the hotel, it. is. FREEZING! Colder than cold! We get to the metro and don’t see anyone with the tshirts on, nevermind I know we wont be the only 4! On the Metro and a change of line later we spot 2 people in matching colours.

 

It was then we that realise that people are a little smarter than us and have hoodies on.  I think this might have been the start of my now flu-like symptoms… When we get out of the station at Foch Avenue and starting walking with the crowds, I am overwhelmed with a sense of contentment, this feeling hasn’t really left me since.

Smile….

We get to the start line and my excitement is bursting. I look around and the other 3 don’t seem to be sharing my feeling, they are huddled together jumping up and down to get some warmth, I don’t know what’s wrong with them sometimes, honestly! I turn my garmin watch on, quietly praying that it finds GPS and it does, quicker than in Ashford and then we were off. Ben charged off in front, he made it very clear from the get go that he was sprinting.  I tried to reason with him, explaining that it was about doing it as a family, together, with 3,500 people from all over the world running together, and more to the point how would we find each other at the end….He looked at me blankly, he still wanted to do it as fast as possible. Did I mention he is 16? It was great to see so many countries represented on the day from Brazil and USA, to Hong Kong, New Zealand and Japan.

It was perfect weather for a run, Amy was running great as was Ross and I. I had no niggles, my legs felt fresh, it was truly terrific. About a mile in a little voice piped up asking if we were nearly finished, (it was Amy, not Ross) ‘No sweetheart, we are nearly half way through’, I reply.  ‘Think of the medal you are going to get at the end’, we love medals…

The Eiffel tower was soon in the near distance and Ross said, that there was a part of him that’s really envious of me running this tomorrow! What? Did I hear right? Oh my, my dream could be reality. I replied Ross, yes, we could go to Venice, Amsterdam, Lochness… We can travel the world. I am so excited.  He quickly replied that he didn’t want to do one, that he couldn’t, I thought for a second and responded, that we didn’t need to do it for time or competitively, my dream slowly slipping away again, we can go to cities and run for fun, stop for pictures, take it all in… How lovely would this be? He said we would talk about it after tomorrow.  We have since and it’s still a No. At this point we stopped for pictures, it really was perfect. Apart from me missing my first born.

Gorgeous…

We run passed the Champ de Mars, the Arc de Triomphe and the Trocadéro as we head to the finish line, the Eiffel Tower. It was a fabulous way to see the sights, I love running.  Amy started to struggle, when a supporter saw her flag and said ‘come on Great Britain, not long now’.  Instead of a smile or a thank you Amy replied, matter of factly that she has indeed ran a 5k before…. ‘Mum can we stop for another picture’ she gasped at me, hoping for another pitstop… We are nearly finished I say, then we can  get your medal, you have done so well, I am very proud!!! She carried on gallantly, repeating ‘medal, medal, medal’ under her breath….

There was a lot of support along the way, music, laughter, dancing, oh and wet tissue thrown at us?! Okay so that might not have been as nice but I still loved every second of it, of course it crossed my mind on whether it was a good idea just before a marathon but I can honestly say I wouldn’t have changed it.  We crossed the line, met up with Ben who admitted he enjoyed it, we passed the breakfast stalls, (I had forgotten that this was included) and as we were all still stuffed from the hotel breakfast, we kept on walking. As we did I quickly became aware that no one was wearing medals? Where were the medals? Oh no, were there no medals? We kept walking, surely they would be at the end? Nope.  I turned to my family and casually said, er, I don’t think there are any medals… ‘What?’ Amy replied… ‘I think I read it wrong’, I said ‘but look at our lovely tshirts and you can get a banana?’ Luckily my children get over things quite quickly, we took a selfie and headed to the hotel to meet up with everyone.

The rest of the day was spent sight-seeing, in the afternoon I was feeling tired and my throat was starting to hurt, I didn’t want to not see everything or stop everyone from doing what they wanted to do, but my sensible head was telling me enough

I missed the skulls 😦

was enough, I had trained too hard to muck it up at the end, so as we were getting into the queue for the Catacombs I whispered to Ross that I wasn’t feeling very well but I think I am just tired, he said that he thinks it’s best if I go back to the hotel for a sleep. He took me back and headed back to meet up with the others (There is no way that I could have been left to get back by myself, I find it hard on London Underground, let alone in another country). I got into bed and I was hoping that I would drift off and wake up feeling a million percent better.  Instead I woke in a bed of sweat, nerves I thought, oh wait the air conditioning isn’t working and the windows are shut, that’s why I am so hot. Don’t panic Laura, I messaged my friends and said I think I am getting tonsillitis, they all agreed that it was nerves and lack of sleep and I should just rest for the remainder of the night. How could I rest though? I was in Paris, I wanted to eat and see the sights too.

When Ross and the gang got back, I asked him to feel my glands as I wasn’t sure how much was in my head, he said they were up and went to the local chemist to get me what he could.  I knew there was nothing I could do about it, so when we went out to dinner that night I brushed it under the carpet. We had a lovely meal but I was really looking forward to getting into bed and to get whatever it was trying to come out rested away.  Once we got back to the hotel I excitedly got my kit ready and placed it by the door. I turned off my phone and made sure the heating was off and opened the window. I took paracetamol and drank lots of water, sucked a lozenge and hoped for the best.

In the morning I was drenched! I knew I needed to drink but then I worried that I would need to stop for the toilet. I made my porridge and it was like trying to eat sand, I didn’t feel ill as such, I just felt odd and extremely nervous.  Ross and I were ready to go, Ben & Amy were going a bit later with the others so they didn’t have to hang about so much, the plan was that they would meet me at 3 miles.  I kissed and hugged them goodbye and told them I couldn’t wait to see them later and with that we left the hotel. It was finally here, the last bit of my journey….

The best of the best….

 

To be continued….. xxx

It’s here…..

 

 

 

Amy the night before the 2nd 20 mile race

Miles ran since last blog: 75.7

Total miles ran since blog started: 602.1

Positivity Score: 8

It’s now only 4 days till the big day! 4 days!!! Can you believe it? Tapering has been very interesting indeed, I thought I would love the lesser miles but instead I feel like all my fitness is ebbing away. I feel as sloth-like as a fat slug and as big as house, I am mainly walking about with the feeling of being as full as an egg. Carb loading has got to be the most natural thing in the world to me. I am not sure but I think I might be eating a lot more carbs than I really need and it might not even be the right carbs.  Apparently, well so Google tells me anyway, my body is now storing everything I eat and the scales are definitely backing up this this theory with a 5 pound weight gain. mainly in my arms. Don’t get me wrong, I do think my body is very clever in storing all my food for energy, but I want it to be less clever straight after, as my clothes are all getting tighter and I really, really liked being a size 10.

So, am I ready? Yes! But, If you had asked me last week it would have been a definite no. I have been a mix of nerves and excitement, confidence and self-doubt. I have been teary, emotional and grumpy.  The first week of tapering was the worst I think and my head was full of  I can’ts, I could haves or I should haves…

I should have done more strength work, I could have done it in the gym in the morning. I could have actually signed up for the gym and done a few runs on a treadmill which must be so boring but mentally make me stronger. Swimming.  I should have swam and I hate swimming.  I should have changed my trainers, I have no bounce left. I should have ran faster in the interval training.  Why did I miss those 4 run’s? They could have been the run’s that made it.  Why didn’t I do that charity quiz? I could have raised more. I could have done a raffle. Everyone loves a raffle and a quiz, where have these last 3 months gone? I could go on and on…

I hope this happens….

Everyone ‘in the know’ has said that I have done enough and that I couldn’t have done anymore. Thinking about it sensibly I do even believe this. I have lived, breathed and spoke about running since December. I am the fittest I have ever been and even though carb loading in all seriousness is now taking its toll, I know this is needed. A few pounds gained can be sorted, a failed marathon can’t and could possibly mean me doing another one and the rest although has been nice has also been mentally tough.

Since the last entry I have had two races (or as I like to say organised training runs, as I was definitely not racing). I have tried to pull some words together numerous times, but I can only get so far before my attention span has gone onto googling ‘Paris Marathon – What to do’, ‘Tapering the right way’ ‘Weather in Paris’ or ‘Is it normal to put on a pound a day’… Hence why this entry is really short and the best I can do.

The first run was the Finchley 20 miles event in…. Ruislip, very hilly Ruislip. (It really was hilly….very hilly) I did this with a friend and told Ross to take the day off, which he was quite pleased about as he was feeling a little worse for wear after a night out with his friends. Neil was prompt at 7.30 armed with my white americano (what a service) and we proceeded to make powdery concoctions in my kitchen, otherwise known as tailwind. Tailwind is a sports drink that had been recommended to me by a couple of people and to be honest I am willing to try anything. Once we had mixed our potions we headed off.  We had agreed to run nice and slow, no pressure, have a little chat and glide around happily, after all we were just getting the miles in, nothing more… Well, the nothing more did include a proposed extra 2 miles added on the end. I am terrified of hitting the ‘wall’ so I thought if I get 22 miles in, it won’t happen (I am new to this don’t forget, happy in my blissful ignorance), though it didn’t really turn out like I had planned.  Well I’ll be honest, it didn’t really go to plan from the start. I needed a rest stop right at the point where we had to get into line for the start, but there were crowds of people everywhere and not a portaloo in sight, I was doomed. I then spotted a pub across the road, with a car park and with trees in it.  Off I ran, as did another lady, heading in the same direction, at the same time, to the same tree…. Awkward!!

It was my first long run without earphones as they were banned from the race, which made me a little nervous. I love Spotify’s ‘most played’ playlist, especially the Spanish songs that randomly pop up, I don’t speak Spanish but they are very catchy, it turned out to be fine and became totally understandable why they were banned quite early on, when cars drove past so close that I could have sat in the passenger seats.  It was also the first run with my name printed on my running top. This started off great and I was waving back, smiling and replying with ‘Thank you’ to the ‘Go Laura’ shouts. The responses soon

We did it…

changed to, ‘I hope I can do it’ and ‘I really am trying’ come the last lap, I wasn’t responding at all and when the last marshall shouted ‘Come on Laura, Laura sprint finish Laura!’ I nearly ripped my top off and threw it at them. All in all the run is a bit of a blur, it might have been the 4 laps of 5 miles making it feel like a hamster wheel. It might have been that I don’t have photographic evidence, due to my husband not being there. The points that I do remember clearly are that the marshalls were the best I have ever witnessed, bumping into Steve from SRG a couple of times and that it wasn’t a ‘nice and slow, no pressure, have a little chat and glide around happily, we were just getting the miles in, nothing more’ kind of run.  It was quicker than we’d wanted, it was harder than expected, really quite warm and we didn’t chat for long because Neil was flying (we are not sure if it was the tailwind or the bread pudding that he eats on the way round).  I needed to stop mid run in what I thought was a discreet place, until I realised I was on a golf course. To top it all off there was no way on gods earth that I could have done an extra step, let alone an extra 2 miles at the end. It left me exhausted and sore and a little bit broken. It was that bad the day after it did cross my mind that I had a hairline fracture in my hip and I was still very much broken for my second organised training run the following week. The Hampton Court half marathon was also difficult in all honesty and it knocked my confidence quite a bit.  I was concentrating on my pace too much and my legs were still very tired.  Apart from seeing the Shepperton crew and getting a rather nice tshirt and huge medal I don’t have much to say about it at all. Well apart from finding an awesome sports bra at last, it’s a godsend!

Chip time was 2:08:45

If both these races had come at any other time I might have had more to say, but my brain right now is mush. It’s just full of Paris and the 26.2 miles and nothing else is getting much of a look in. In this last week I have booked strange flights for our family holiday, thrown my son’s GCSE timetable in the bin and forgot to book childcare for my daughter for the Easter holidays. The only thing that is still getting a little look in is money. Lots and lots of money…

To date the money raised during this journey is phenomenal, it has totally blown my original target of £500 out of the water and it is now at £3322.80.  I am absolutely amazed at the generosity of not only my friends and family but complete strangers. I am so pleased that I decided to run for the 5 charities, the money will be put to great use and the sponsorship site has been a great distractor for my son from his revision. He loves giving me updates so much so, at first I wasn’t sure if he thought people were donating directly to me, he assures me not. Anyway his excitement is a lot more to be said for my daughters who thinks Paris is boring (never been), is only concerned if the hotel has a pool (it doesn’t) and thinks I am not running very far (Whatever!) The teenage years are going to be joyful… At least this whole experience has got her running and she is very, very good.

So as this is the final pre-marathon entry, the next time we speak I will have (hopefully) done it! I can let you know what running a marathon in Paris actually feels like. I will be able to tell you what waiting in a pen is really like, (right now all I can visualise is chickens) and I shall be able to tell you if indeed my carb loading ever did stop. I will also be also be able to tell you if the technique of running a mile for someone close to me works after 20 miles. Luckily I have 5 great reasons to get me through 5 of the 6 miles. The last mile will be dedicated for the photo finish…. I should be fine.

All that is left to say right now, if you haven’t sponsored me and would like to do so, please click here: Bliss, Samaritans, stroke Association, Epilepsy Action, Arthritis Research

Much love,

Laura xxx

Happy! Happy! Happy! 20 Milton Keynes Miles Completed

Lets get this show on the road!!!

Miles ran since last blog: 98.4

Total miles ran since blog started: 526.4

Positivity Score: A perfect 10

Well, you will be pleased to hear that since the horrific 17 mile long run that very nearly broke me, things picked up! Phew. The following week was much better, I made a conscious effort to eat and drink better and the next long run of 18 miles, was actually quite enjoyable.  This could have been helped by the fact that the sun was shining and I ran a new route down by the Thames, chosen by my sister. I clarified the new route with my friend who is quite an oracle on places, she knows how to get everywhere and anywhere. She assured me that yes indeed the route was easy and if I just stick to turning right when I reach the end of the towpath and then go straight, I will end up in Chertsey and then down by Thorpe Park.  I made her ‘promise promise’ (A double promise is legally binding you know). She said there is no way even I could get lost, its straight. Well, guess what…. I ended up in a cul-de-sac and a dead end cul de sac to boot, well apart from a small muddy alley way.  Being the literal person that I am, I ran down that path, after all straight is straight right? When it got narrower and narrower and when there were more brambles than not, I decided it was probably easier and safer to just turn around, go back on myself and do a right at the entrance. It seemed a better option than creating my own obstacle course and this indeed did then take me to Thorpe Park, not too much damage was done. Well apart from on the way back, when I had to go back down the dead end, I hate to admit it but I did actually go back done the scary narrow alleyway. This was despite my over active imagination now telling me that someone had watched me doing this the first time and would be waiting for me to steal my iPhone and sports watch. I think I do have OCD tendencies.

I ran quite steady 10 minute miles, my gel fuelling seemed to be correct and there wasn’t a need to guzzle my two teeny bottles of water in my Lara Croft belt. This could also have been helped by the fact that my husband must have driven around for ages to find me and gave me an additional water bottle – just in case I needed it. I think he might have been as concerned as me that I would have another meltdown. Don’t get me wrong the last few miles hurt and I didn’t have much left in the tank. But in the end I had just ran 18 miles, nonstop and not a bad pace for me either, with loads of calories burnt for plenty of cake.

It did however create a HUGE blister on my toe, which made the following weeks runs a little harder. Added to the fact that I felt quite ill during the following week, I ended up missing an 11 mile run and I am still not over this. I hate the feeling of missed training, I said at the start that I would give 100% and this has been my one and only intention. I will make these miles up, I will have to (refer to OCD tendencies).

I felt much better on the Saturday which was good as I wanted to be part of the SRG ‘Couch to 5k’ graduation run at Bedfont Lakes. This was my planned rest day so I volunteered to be the tail runner and we did a nice and steady 5k. Everyone did amazingly well in quite tough conditions, and a double bonus was it made me now only 8 miles short on my training plan. I pretty much just mooched about for the rest of the day as I had the biggy coming up, my 20 mile race at Milton Keynes.  It got to about 7pm on the Saturday night when I started getting my running stuff together then the panic set in. 20 miles! 20 miles is a mammoth amount of miles.  How on earth am I going to do it? I then did what so many do and started to self-doubt my set up, my strategy, everything I had been trying to put in place for weeks, months.  I spoke to my running group on whatsapp and listened to what they did on long runs, it was different to me, OK I will change my routine, I will do what they do. No! Laura, NO! Stick to what you know, stick to what has worked. Running is a very mentally draining sport but after not a bad sleep it was finally my 2^nd milestone, my 20 mile race day! I had decided long ago to dedicate this run to my husband and therefore the Stroke Association.

Getting organised!

We were up early and on our way before 7.30. I had a pot of porridge in the car and I felt quietly confident and refreshed.  I was also looking forward to running with people and in whole new surroundings without a thought of what street to run down next   We got there in plenty of time, which was handy as the nerves had just kicked in and therefore the ‘infamous’ toilet stops. For anyone that runs races, the portaloo situation is a big deal, they should really add it to the race details. There is nothing worse than there not being enough toilets, queuing to get into one and the thought of someone queuing to come into yours. Especially if the previous occupant was very nervous ;). With this in mind Ross pulled into a local petrol station to have ‘rest stop number 1’.  Once sorted we drove the short distance to the starting point and parked up with ease. This was all going rather well and we followed the other runners and made our way to the… Portaloos. ‘Rest stop number 2’. It had started and thankfully there were loads of them! Not a queue in sight and they were clean and tidy, top marks to Milton Keynes Festival of Running! We made our way to the information stands and I spotted the festival t-shirts. I don’t normally buy anything but hey how often am I going to be running 20 miles on Mother’s Day and pah what’s £18, I have saved that in 30 minutes of being tee total (and Ross paid for it anyway J). I shall wear it with pride and is better than me walking around with my 20 mile medal on…  I had planned to meet a friend at the start of the race, to catch up and run together, but I got my phone out to message him and I had no service whatsoever. I was gutted, we had been speaking online for so long, it would have been great to have met in person. I walked about a bit desperately trying to get some service but nothing, zero, zilch. I logged into Ross’ phone and was quickly trying to arrange a meeting point. Then the announcement happened…  ‘Can all 20 mile runners make your way to the start’… Oh god, this is it.  I need the loo. I quickly typed that I had to put my phone away and I would meet him at the end. I thanked the lord above that I had prepared up front and made my spotify playlist available offline and we made our way to the start. We passed the 5k start, the 10k start, the half marathon start then eventually reaching the 20 mile starting point.  I was looking around getting a dry mouth.  Oh no Ross I said, I need the toilet, ‘Don’t worry’ was his response ‘You’ll forget about it when you start, I am more worried that I think I might be part of the race here’… I looked around and he was right, he was the only one in jeans, oh dear! ‘What are you going to do?’ I laughed.  With that he said ‘Good luck, love you, you will be great’ and he was gone.  I was alone. Well, I wasn’t but you know what I mean. I was PETRIFIED! My heart was thumping through my chest, I crossed my legs and thought I was going to have an accident. I looked at the spectators waving at their loved ones. I looked at the runners, some chatting and laughing, some thoughtful, some fiddling with watches, earphones, phones. Then with a gasp I stifled a sob, it was caught in my throat, then it turned into tears. That overwhelming feeling, a mix of emotion, excitement, nerves, pure adrenaline. I caught the eye of the lady next to me and we both burst out laughing. We didn’t need to say anything.

We were moving, slowly, slowly.  I was looking at my feet, finger on the start button on my watch, ready and waiting to pass the starting line. I pressed start, I was officially off, I looked up and there he was my hero.  ‘Go on Laura!’ he smiled. He was gone and I was running, the sheer pleasure engulfing me. This is why I do it. This is the feeling I love.  I looked around me, taking it all in.  Tall people, short people, people wrapped up for a winters day and people like me who were dressed for summer.  There were camel backs, gel belts, water belts and no belts at all.  There were people that looked super fit, some not so. A real mixed bag, but we all had one thing in common we had all worked so hard to get here. We all knew what each other had to go through to get to this point and that’s what I love, it’s like a big team. One big family all sharing the same goal, you don’t need to talk, you just know that this race is important to each and every one of us.

Unfortunately for me, the first mile started downhill, fortunate for some I guess, but I struggle downhill. I feel like a kid, arms all over the place, feet like on wheels, just like a cartoon character. Once we were on flat ground I soon found my pace and my stride was fine, I felt comfortable.  I didn’t want to run fast, I didn’t want to run slow, I just wanted to feel strong and steady and I did. Until…..

‘Is that a pain in my shin?’. ‘No, it’s fine’. ‘No, hold on I think it is’.  ‘Is it serious?’ ‘No I am sure is was just because of that little hill’. ‘It’s fine, just warming up’. ‘Hold on, is that pain in my knee?’ ‘Yes, I think it is’. ‘Is it serious?’. ‘No I think it’s fine’… ‘Does my calf feel ok?’. ‘Yep calf check is fine’… This goes on for a little while, just like usual, you would think I would ignore it all now, but I don’t.

I wonder if I am the only one to do this? I do a mental body check of pain and I am sure I imagine it, it’s like I am asking my body, ‘are we good?’, ‘are we in sync?’, ‘are we going to work together here as we are on the same team?’.  It only happens on long runs and only in the first couple of miles.  After that I don’t give my legs, feet, hips, stomach a second thought until a couple of miles before the end of the run, when in fact my body and mind are starting to drift apart, no longer synching. That’s when it’s not imagined, the pain is there and real. But instead of asking ‘shall I stop?’ I realise that it’s a pain of hard work. It’s a nice pain. It’s a pleasure pain.

If my memory serves me well, the race for me went something like this…it kind of matches up to the photos I have seen too…

Mile 1 – Slow down legs, it’s only a little hill. Is that a slight twinge in my shin?

Mile 2 – Oh no its fine, oh wait is my achilles starting to hurt?

Mile 3 – Oh no its fine, this is nice. 5k done, all good, Ah there’s hubby.  Look at me all strong – Waves!

Mile 4 – Think this is going ok, the training is paying off, I am a pro!

Mile 5 – Hmmm what to do, I am feeling fine, shall I up the pace? stay steady?

Mile 6 – So I have upped the pace and feeling fine, this is great. Not my best 10k but still a long way to go, no pressure Laura

Mile 7 –  I think I am going to get this done in a great time, those intervals have paid off. Nearly gel time, what a race strategy I have, who would have thought it

Mile 8 – Gel time…. Hmm few ups and downs, all ok, think this gel is working already

Mile 9 – Yep its kicked in, oh look there’s my husband, he seems a little shocked to be seeing me already! This is great, I blow him a kiss

Mile 10 –  This is Awesome!

Mile 11 – Phewy getting a bit tired. Is it time for a gel, no? Oh dear not for 2 miles, this doesn’t feel like my 18 mile run

Mile 12 – This is getting hard, come on Laura you do a half marathon quicker than this

Mile 13 – Gel time! Yippeeee, thank the lord above. Mmmm lemon and lime flavour, very nice. Come on SIS gel make me rush. Oh there he is again how’s he doing this? Smiles, blows kisses, love that Houdini man of mine.

Mile 14 – I repeat come on SIS gel, where are you? I think I need to take them earlier…

Mile 15  – 5 Miles to go, oh look there he is again smiles, a little, did I smile? Not sure

Mile 16 – So tired now, so so tired, 4 miles to go.. is that a cattle grid? Oh gosh no it’s a cattle grid. What a choice to make to maybe snap my ankle or to manuevore around the gate. The gate won, my hips lost

Mile 17 – Come on Laura get this mile out the way and then its gel time and only a 5k to go. There’s Ross, how is he doing this? I think I waved and if I didn’t, I did in my head

Mile 18 – Gel time. Gosh this is hurting

Mile 19 – WHAT IS THAT???!!! Surely they are not runners at the top of that mountain? NO! We can’t be going up there?!

Mile 19.5 – Yep we are! Who put a mountain in Milton Keynes? Dig deep get up there, come on! There’s the finish…

Mile 20 – Is that my name? It is Yayyyyyy I did it! I did it!!! I feel AMAZING! I want to do it again! Where’s my husband?

 

It now has pride and place in my downstairs loo

I pick up my medal, I meet Ross. I pose for a pic and I am as stiff as a board! I ask Ross if he saw the mountain, he thinks I am delirious. I start to walk to see if I can see it and I can’t really move… I then quickly think of Kieron and message him my number, he calls and we meet and it’s great! The three of us go for a coffee and after a while say our goodbyes.  The whole experience was so amazing. I loved it.  I am so excited for Paris, this really has been the best decision I ever made. I completed the race in 3 hours 19 minutes and 55 seconds and came 188^th out of 325 females. I am quite happy with that.

I think so much when I am running and I really wish I carried a dictaphone, so many thoughts run through my head, ideas, stories, memories, get rich schemes, house plans, business plans, these all disappear as soon as the next thought has come. A head full of stuff, flying around in all directions. I could be a millionaire by now or at the very least have the most wonderfully decorated front room, if only I could remember what the idea was to get me rich or what colour the wallpaper was.  I think I shall put one on my Amazon gift list.

I am also so pleased that I booked the race for my training run, it’s given me back my mojo and apart from being a huge success its reignited the joy I feel when running. I won’t ever stop, it’s my feel good.  It’s part of who I am now, I needed this race to remind me of all the good that running does for me. The Milton Keynes 20 mile race is up there for one of my best. It was SUPERB! The organisation, the toilet situation, the support, the course, the water stations (bottles not cups) Everything. Oh and the medal is rather nice to…. The only downside was probably the shock of the huge mountain at mile 19 and even with that I will be back to do it again.

My training plan is now tapering off, but instead I have booked another 20 mile race for this Sunday in Finchley, I think I need it. The gels were not quite right for me and I think mentally it will be better for me to do it again and possibly add 2 miles onto it. I am going to go at a slow pace and just try to get the miles in, I now know first-hand how that distance breaks your legs and seeing as its only 3 weeks to go, I need to try and be as rested as possible.  We will see how I get on and I will let you know how it goes. Of course.

Please help these fabulous charities

 

23 Days to go!!!

Speak soon,

Lots of Love

Laura xxx

Warning: Do not read if you are starting a marathon Journey…

My Valentines from Amy

 

Miles ran since last blog: 170.01

Total miles ran since blog started: 428.00

Positivity Score: -100

I hate running.  I hate speed work.  I hate plans and I hate people that love running. There I have said it.

And breathe… I have been wanting to write for a little while, as always I have a lot to say.  I have put my two index fingers on the keyboard a few times (I can’t touch type and I still cant figure out how I got a ‘C’ GCSE in this subject) but its all been so negative. I have been waiting for the ‘positive’ spin to come, a bit of wit, a bit of fun and giggles.  It hasn’t come. I think the only fun I have had based around running is missing one Monday recovery run and washing my floors instead and even that was soon tainted with ‘Runners Guilt’ (which by the way is ten times worse than ‘Catholic Guilt’ and Catholic guilt is strong).

As you can see the mileage has gone up considerably, I am out for long periods of time and its getting harder and harder to leave the house. I am sure the weather has a lot to do with this but so has the fact that out of the 23 runs since the last diary, 8 have been okay (I use this term loosely, 5 of these were in January) 2 have been good, (again in January) and 9 have been truly awful, (mainly all of February). The majority of my runs are quickly followed by a sense of achievement in that I am so proud of myself that I did it even if it did take so long to get going. This makes me think running might have made me a bit bi-polar, its like a low-high-low. I am a smiling/sad/laughing/crying emotional mess, just ask my friends and family.

Take my last run as an example, 17 Miles, (can you believe I ran for 17 miles, non-stop?), I ran for nearly 3 hours without so much as a shuffle (well if you take the last couple of miles out, as I might have looked like I had had an ‘accident’) Unbelievable. Amazing and truly horrendous. I planned to go at 9am after covering my son’s paper-round and I was up at 7am and had my porridge. Ross knew how much I was dreading this run, so told me to stay in bed and rest for a bit, he would deliver the papers by himself. Bliss. 9 o’clock came, and went. 10:00, 10:30, 11:00. Oh god. I can’t go, I can’t face it, I can’t do it.  Ring, Ring….

‘Hello’, I answered, saved by the bell springs to mind…

‘Oh, hello Ma’, I say.  ‘No I haven’t been yet’, ‘yes I am going now’, ‘yes I know it’s getting darker outside’, ‘yes it looks windy’.  ‘Oh I know I should have gone earlier when it was nicer’. 

‘Yes, I am still here’ I muster, ‘yes I am fine, no really I am’. 

‘Actually Mum I am not, this is horrible, its ruining my weekends, its putting a dampener on everything and I feel quite sad’, I say. ‘But anyway how are you?’.

I feel bad as no mum wants to hear her child feeling defeated, sad and thoroughly depressed, so I picked up my voice and explained that it’s just getting to the last knockings and I am just a bit tired.  That a very wise friend said the Marathon is the reward for the hard work and this is how most people feel.  I will love it on the day and it’s all good.

I get off the phone and check Facebook, it’s now 11:30. Times-a-ticking and then I see it, a message from god, well in fact a message from Steve from the Shepperton Running Group saying that they are planning on doing a 14 mile run tomorrow.  I could run with them and run home, it will be easier with people, it would be great! Yippeee. I run down the stairs and tell Ross everything is ok, I can go tomorrow, its fine.  I will do my missed 30 min run today and go tomorrow.  Then he reminds me ‘Laura, we have friends over tonight, for a curry, do you really want to get up at 6am and run fuelled by curry?’ Oh No… It’s true, I won’t.  He kisses me on the forehead after seeing my face crumple and told me to just run for 30 minutes and to see how I feel, then to call him where I was and he would come and get me.  Okay sounds like a plan, he tells me to take the gels and water, just in case I want to carry on.  ‘Ok’ I whisper.  I am going now, I am leaving, I am going. Right. Now. And off I went, in the drizzle.

I went my normal long route and I was at 30 minutes before I knew it and thought oh just do it Laura, get it out the way. The first 10 miles were ok, apart from the drizzling rain misting my glasses and I had taken my first gel at 8 miles, which was a welcomed distraction. My next gel was due at 13 miles and those 3 miles were like 15. I took the second gel and just thought to myself only 4 miles to go, less than 10k, I can do 10k, nearly there, then SLAM! 14 miles and I was done. Finished. The wind was gunning for me, the rain was picking up and my legs were like stone, I was conscious of every step, I winced as I had to go down a kerb, I winced more when I had to go up one. Two more miles to go, this is when I started to run really odd, like my legs wanted to break free, they were going in different directions, I got a pain down my shin and I was trying to figure out if I should stop.  Is it an injury? Is it because my legs have a mind of their own and were trying to leave my body? Is my leg going to drop off? One mile to go.  One more teeny mile to go. Come on Laura you have got this! You can do it, one foot in front of the other.  And home, I made it. But where was the elation? Where was my proud moment? It wasn’t to be seen.

Sad face…

I waddle through the door and head to the kitchen where I grasp onto a dining chair, not knowing if I want to stand, sit or drape across the table. Ross bounds down the stairs and I hear him saying, well little legs that was a long 30 minutes.  I tell him to give me a minute, I knew I was close to tears and felt silly. He asked me how it was as I hobbled to sit down and I just burst into tears.  He was telling me how proud he is of me, how running 17 miles is the most amazing thing, that I should be over the moon that I have just run my longest run.  All I could do was snivel that its ruining my life, I hate it, it hurts, its rubbish and I can’t do any more.  I sniffed my way through telling him I think I am following the wrong plan, that my tapering starts a week before everyone else’s. I carry on through tears saying that I am worried, I am scared and that I should have listened to him from the beginning when he told me that training for a marathon is one of the hardest things to do. I am not a runner, I am a party girl. I like whiskey, not lemon and lime SIS ‘Science in Sport’ electrolyte powder. For the record Ross I am very grateful for my Valentines present and it does taste nice. He calms me down and makes me a hot coffee, I am soaked through so head for the shower. The pain! Oh my lord the pain of the water hitting the missed lubricated parts of my body. I have fresh chaffing from wearing the wrong underwear to add to the cuts on my boobs (TMI I know, but I really think they will scar) I put on my pj’s sit on my bed and eat my cheese roll and hot cross bun waiting for me (spoilt aren’t I). I look at the lovely comments on Strava and Facebook and start to feel better and look forward to an evening with friends and forgetting about running until Monday and I have a little snooze. The elation still didn’t really come, just the great feeling of knowing that I had done it and that I don’t have to do it the next day. On a positive at least I know what ‘smalls’ not to wear on the big day. We had a fabulous evening I tried to have a wine but really didn’t fancy it, which is a bit of a worry not only to me, but to my friends too.

In all honesty I am starting to feel like a fraud, everyone is so excited and proud of me. I am being told that I am inspiring other people to run and that what I am doing is amazing. People are talking to me constantly about the training, asking me how it’s going and I am smiling and saying its going great but I won’t be doing another one.  Inside I am thinking I can’t talk about this, it’s like talking about being tortured and I am the one torturing myself.  This was my choice, I paid to do this. I am cutting conversations short and feeling rude. I feel like I am attention seeking when posting about my runs, but also loving the pats on the back and the ‘well dones’ it’s easier to read than to hear. I do know that what I am doing is a massive achievement and I do know that even though its hard it will be one of the most rewarding things I will ever do, both personally and for the charities. I just want the day to be here and for everything to go back to normal, to sip wine with friends, to gulp whiskey and to lightly warm my throat with port.  I want to exercise when I want to, I want to run again looking at my surroundings, being buried deep in my thoughts and not looking at my Garmin watch to check my pace and time and working out how many jelly babies I have had and if I have enough water.  I don’t want to worry if I have eaten enough, not enough, the right things. I want to enjoy the British weather, not despise it.

Maybe, on reflection, my opening line is a bit strong, harsh even, I don’t hate running, I hate Marathon training. I want my love affair with pounding the streets to go back to being fluffy, warm and fuzzy, to want to do it again and again and for it to be a choice and not a task.  To be fun and not a chore.  This is what I want and I know that this will come again otherwise I wouldn’t have booked 10 races so far this year. I am in awe of people that do Marathons more than once knowing how tough it is, how much it changes your life and how truly grueling these months are.  These people are the true inspirational ones. Not me. The one nagging concern for me is that the on-the-day experience must be so wonderful, exhilarating and addictive that they want that feeling again and again.  This scares me a lot because if anyone is going to get addicted to a high it’s me and that, my friends, is why this diary is going to be my life saver for me.  I can remember the lows, when the almighty high starts pricking my subconscious.

Getting all this down in words has been the best therapy for me. I feel lighter, a little happier and more positive. In fact as I get to the end of this post my positivity score has risen now to -10 and not -100. I am nearly at my sponsorship target thanks to so many kind, generous people in my life and oh my new size 10 jeans are getting looser so there are positives for marathon training. If I haven’t put you off its well worth doing for the compliments you will receive (although noted it’s body compliments and not face, runners face is still very much alive). I am fitter and healthier than ever before in my life and in my 40^th year this can only be a good thing. Right? Right?

Hopefully the next entry will be back to Yayyyness, after all I have a 20 mile race to look forward to on the Mothers Day…

Thank you for your support, I honestly wouldn’t have got this far without it!

Speak soon,

Much love, Laura xxx

http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/littlelau1

 

 

Training Plans, Virtual Runs and Saggy Bums…

Miles ran since last blog: 113.8

Total miles ran since blog started: 257.9

Positivity Score: 7.5

Hello…my name is Laura. Once party girl, now a bit of a bore.

Oh how we laughed back in September at the thought of me training for a Marathon. Oh, how we laughed harder back in November when I decided that I wasn’t going to drink at all for 16 weeks from the 11^th December. Oh, how all this laughing has now…..stopped.

In all honesty, I am not sure this whole thing was my greatest idea but I have come too far to quit now – If I hadn’t raised a huge amount of money and social mediaed myself at regular intervals (that word now makes me shudder) quitting could have been a strong possibility.  Don’t get me wrong since the last entry on the 23^rd December there have been some highs, no really there has. I mean Christmas was a scream drinking non-alcoholic wine (don’t bother trying it). New Year’s Eve was positively a rock and roll fest (in bed by 10 with ice packs on my calves) and January, well January has been a laugh a minute.

Now, I don’t want to paint a picture here that you need alcohol to have a good time.  Of course this is not true! I, however, like alcohol…..a lot. And this was a big festive change for me, as it was for my family.  All joking aside we did have a great time, I discovered I can play charades as good when sober as I do when tipsy, my excitement at knowing an answer (to anything) is as loud with a red wine as without and my board gaming has improved 100%. Has Cluedo always actually had a strategy to it! There has also been a few lows but that’s more to do with the little…. what can I call it? A hobby? A mental moment? A midlife? A latest fad? Oh, I know let’s just call it simply, a life changer…. a little thing called Marathon training!

I am now 22 runs in and have missed two, one on the 19^th December due to ‘couldn’t be arsed’ syndrome and one on the 12^th January due to me convincing myself that I had shin splints, which turned into me telling myself that I had messed up. ‘I’d run too much!’, ‘I hadn’t stretched’, ‘I hadn’t warmed down’ (by the way if anyone does bump into my physio, I do really do these things and I only asked her to show me what I should be doing for clarification purposes!). ‘The marathon dream was over!’ ‘I was a complete failure wouldn’t be able to run again and I will have to either walk it or give people back the sponsor money’.

In my very sad, emotional state I was also thinking hmmmm but if I am injured I can’t run.  I might need to rest for a week, maybe two? This was a doctor’s professional opinion, so out of my hands, so that would mean…..I could drink wine. I mean I can’t run, of course I can drink wine, couldn’t I?

I constantly have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and they are both a drain to be honest.  In this particular battle the angel was shouting loudest and I went full throttle into Laura panic mode – This is the mode that drives my husband mad the most.  I messaged my runner friends, I emailed my runner friends, I called my runner friends. I spoke to my family, my non running friends and my colleagues about my shin, I had an ice pack in my boot and I was trying to not have any movement in my calf/shin, hence walking like I had a pole tied to my leg and swinging it round. I called my private health company, I called a recommended Sports therapist and in the space of 1 hour I had two appointment booked for the next day and spent £150.

What more could I do but…wait…. oh and sort my feet out.  Blue, navy blue is the only nail varnish that I can wear to hide the black toenails, I have one nail that is still holding on for its little life. Drop off already toenail, do you hear? The emotional tie is long gone and you are quite frankly just being a bit needy.

The next day couldn’t come quick enough but that night was the best night’s sleep I had had in a long time. The appointments went a bit like this:

Appointment 1  – ‘Come in’ She said.  ‘ Please, you have to help me’ was my response.  I wasn’t thinking of wine at this point, I was praying, just praying that everything would be ok. Dramatic? Yes.  Warranted.  Yes.

A few medical questions later, I explained that I was training for my 1^st Marathon, I had to do it and that was that.  ‘Oh, so you are running for fun’, she asked? ‘Well, no, no actually it’s not been that fun.  But I have to do it’, I responded.  We chatted some more, ‘so you are not running for a race?’, she said. ‘Yes, yes I am, I am training for my 1^st Marathon. In Paris. I just told you?’. ‘Oh ok’, she said.  This happened twice and I was losing a little bit of faith here, and my face was a bit like ‘eh?!’ If you can imagine that face.

She asked me to take my shoes and socks off and stand in front of her.  She said I had great muscle, okay she might know what she is talking about, I thought.  She asked me to stand on my tippy toes, which I did. She said I had very good balance.  Yep, I think she definitely knows her stuff.  She also said that if I can do that I do not have shin splints! Yippeee!!! This woman is GOOD! She is the best! I do a little dance and lie on the table, the happiest bunny there ever once was! That was until she touched my leg! Oh. My. God! The pain! The pain was worse than anything I have ever experienced and I have had two children, stubbed my toe numerous times and whacked my not-so-funny bone. After what seemed like an eternity, I wiped away my tears, was shown some stretches and made another appointment. The diagnosis was that I had tight hamstrings and calf muscles. One down and one to go.

Appointment 2 – Pretty much started the same, but without the ‘eh?’ face moment.  This guy had come highly recommended, I had so much faith in what he was saying, if he says I am fine, I know I am fine.  He disagrees with the tight hamstrings and calf muscle and says I am very flexible, why thank you – In one day I had been told I had great muscle, very good balance and was very flexible.  What great compliments, I was positively preening, oh how things have changed. He massaged the golf balls in my legs and it was a totally different experience, this was so relaxing, it was lovely.  His diagnosis was that my left leg goes to the left a bit (handy) so when my leg is hitting the floor it is doing an extra movement. I am doing this movement with my hand right now, but you can’t see, it’s a bit like if your hand was swimming like a fish.  Anyway, he says I need to strengthen my lower leg. I asked how do I do this and he said with weights.  ‘Oh’ I said, ‘that’s great’. I asked what kind of weights will I need? His response was a hand weight, he did the ‘eh?’ face. A hand weight I thought? How on earth do I balance a hand weight on my ankle? Do I tie it on? What would I use? String? One of Ross’s ties? A scarf? Well, I had never seen anyone doing this whilst looking at foam roller exercises on YouTube. I must now be doing the ‘eh’ face without realising as he said he has one in his car and will go get it. Great.  I am much more of a visual learner.

It turns out you hold the hand weight in your hand and bend your legs in different ways.  Oh I said to him I wondered how would I balance it on my ankle.  I laughed.  He looked confused, I laughed and snorted.

I got home to show Ross what I needed to do and couldn’t remember, honestly! My brain is mush.  I don’t really know what learner I am now to be honest.

Anyway, you will be pleased to know training has resumed after my little mishap, I do 4 runs a week, the shortest being 30 minutes and the longest now 140 minutes.  Tuesdays and Thursdays are speed work and are now 9ish miles.  My legs hurt, my hips hurt and quite frankly I hurt. But not as much as standing on the scales is hurting me… I weigh exactly the same! I have ran 142.9 miles since the training started and not lost one pound! I have not drank alcohol for 38 days and not lost one pound. Where is the justice in that? Where? is? the? justice?

The training is going fine to be honest. It’s hard, its sometimes boring, it’s extremely rewarding and its dark and cold, but it’s also amazing, I am still amazed at how far I have come and how far my body can travel without wheels. It’s still a slow process from being ready to go and actually leaving the house, the longest ‘in limbo’ time is now 4 hours.  Did I mention it’s hard?  I am back to listening to music when on my own, and I am not sure if it’s this or the cold that is giving me earache. I might just be falling apart, in body, mind and everything in between.

I bumped into a very good friend the other morning, he said I looked knackered, worn out, not once but a couple of times. I think if he wasn’t so polite he would have said I actually looked like sh*t.  He did also say my face looked thin, being a woman I know this means old.  Now, there are definite changes occurring with my body, some good, some not so good.

The good is going down a dress size, not having to wear long flowy tops all the time and I am actually quite happy with tucking tops in – Gasp! This is all good as I am sure you would agree BUT on the downside I am getting ‘Runners Face’. This is a true and real thing, people don’t believe me, but I am telling you its real.  I am weathered.  Running is weathering me.  I am not losing weight on the scales but I am aging at a remarkable pace (not liking this word much anymore either). I now smother my face in Vaseline before a run but all that seems to be happening is that I am catching insects and coming home with my face freckled in things, things that were once alive.

I do hope this isn’t putting you off running at all but whilst we are discussing these very important things, I feel I should share that my bum is also flattening, I have checked with the ladies in the running group and even showed mine but they are saying that their behinds and faces are fine. Am I just a middle aged woman? Is this what happens at 40? Whatever the reason these things are real, they are happening.  To add to this is my failing eye sight, which is also proving to be a bit of a problem, its sometimes hard to see in the dark so I started to use a head torch, I mean so many people use these things, I am sure I am not the only one that wears glasses?  I set off fine, it was positioned correctly, in fact I thought I looked quite cool, I even took a little selfie. A few strides later and it starts clacking on my glasses, no matter how many times I rearranged it, it would slide down and clack. Clack, clack, clack, I tried to ignore it but couldn’t, quite frankly  it was very annoying.  I moved my glasses to the end of my nose, which meant I now had to run with my head tilted backwards to see down my nose and through the lens, this in turn made the head torch light up the sky. I took it off, it didn’t work out for me at all.  I now either run blind but with light or with sight but in the dark.  I am saving my daily disposable contact lenses for the long runs (these things are pricy) so that I can see if they irritate me. So far so good, which is great news as I would really like a professional marathon photo to put beside my husband’s, to be honest I don’t know why I am worried, with these photo’s glasses are the last thing to be concerned about.

With 10 weeks to go I am now starting to get my race strategy together, making a note on what I am eating on the long run, when I take my jelly babies, how much water I consume.  I am starting to take gels with me for when I start feeling very tired, but as yet haven’t needed to use them.  Everything now is getting ready for the all-important race day.  Mind you everything I do at the minute revolves around race day, seriously everything. My poor Ross.

There are a lot of these sort of conversations in our house at the minute.  ‘Laura, when you go Tesco’s can you pick up some cat food?’ Er Ross, I can’t got to Tesco’s, I am running or ‘Laura, can you help me in the garage for a minute? Er Ross, I can’t, I am running.  I get invited to my good friends 40^th birthday bash, and I immediately look to see what I will be running that day, 6^th Feb 16 miles.  My sisters birthday 6^th March 20 miles. Actually that week is pretty mad, I will be doing 30 miles in 3 days but it’s all tapering after that (reducing miles.) The day that I run 20 miles I will feel ecstatic! I do question if I am talking the talk but then won’t be able to run the run or as the saying goes ‘all the gear, but no idea’.  It’s all very well seeing a plan and saying ‘oh look what I have to do’  It’s the actual having to do it that worries me. It could be a case of ‘Oh look an 18 mile run today, oh bugger I could only manage 10!’  Maybe I need to look at what time I have to run it in, if its 6 hours I should be fine!

In short, its consuming me, its aging me and its killing my legs.  Its giving me nightmares and sleepless nights and is taking up all my time, but I signed up to do it and do it I will.  I will do it for me and I will do it for the people that believe in me.  £1,124.50 is now raised for the charities and I am honestly over the moon. The Virtual Run was a HUGE success and raised over £500 alone. I have had the greatest support from not only loved ones, but people that I have just met and to be honest I have made so many life friends in these short weeks. As much as sometimes thinking I wish I hadn’t started this journey, its actually one of the best things I have ever done!  73 days to go, not long now.

Speak soon,

Love Laura xxxx

http://www.virginmoneygiving.com/littlelau1

Merry Christmas…

Source: Merry Christmas…

Merry Christmas…

Virginia Water Lake

Miles ran since last blog: 33.2 (Should be 43.2)

Total miles ran since blog started: 144

Positivity Score: 5

I am now at week 2 day 3, which is 110 minutes (11 miles) for my long run.

The equivalent to:

• 9 minutes running and 12 minutes walking in the ‘Couch to 5k’ plan.

• 60 minutes running and 10 minutes walking in the ‘5k to 10k’ plan.

• 72 minute run in the ‘10k to half Marathon’ plan.

When I stop and think of the runs in my previous plans, I am amazed at how far I have come in a relatively short space of time. So many people want to run but feel that they can’t, well I am living proof that anyone really can!! I am not just saying that, I really couldn’t run at all.  I have been asked a few times ‘when did I start?’, ‘how did I start?’, ‘how did I do it?’

Well, I first started my running journey using an app called ‘Get Running’ (Couch to 5k) in 2012 but just kept giving up. Making excuses like ‘my life is too busy’, ‘there isn’t any time’, ‘it’s too dark’, ‘too cold’, ‘too wet’, ‘too hot’, ‘too sunny’, ‘I haven’t eaten’, ‘I have just eaten’, ‘I am breathing!!!’, pretty much any excuse I could think of.

I eventually completed the plan on my 3rd or 4th attempt in 2013.  I felt I could run the world after and quickly downloaded another app simply called ‘10k’ and booked a 10k race on the 22nd September 2013 with Ross. I completed that in 1:06, but after that I didn’t run again in 2013. I ran a few times during 2014, but mainly to help me lose weight for my wedding in August and didn’t go above 10k. That I think was the end of that until February this year, where this all started pretty much after seeing a horrendous picture of myself.

I quickly signed myself up for another 10k at Stockley Park on the 17th May 2015 and followed the same 10k app, (I completed this in just under an hour) in between I had my first ever 5k race on the 25th April 2015 around Dorney lake. I ran that in 29:36 and found it so hard, like so, so hard.  I think this is where my ‘fitness fear’ started and when I realised that running really isn’t like riding a bike, you really have to keep your foot in or start at the beginning again.  With this in mind, added to the fact that I have to work towards a goal, I knew that I had to do something before the weight inevitably crept back on.  I signed up for my 1st Half Marathon on the 6th September, in the same place I ran my 1st 10k, Kew Gardens.  The training started on the 28th April and I used an app called ‘21k’ (the training plan pretty much started where I was finishing for the 10k training). I completed that race in 2:08 and soon after I ran the Ealing Half on the 27th September in 2:04. This was followed by the Thames Half on the 18th October in 1:58, and then finally my toughest one yet, Bexhill Half on the 7th November in 2:13 (if you haven’t read my previous blog post, I was lucky to even finish that one, in fact I was lucky to stay alive).

It was in between the Kew Gardens and Thames Half, that I signed up for the Marathon. I felt I needed to keep working towards something or I would just stop again. That’s pretty much what happened and answers the question, ‘how did I do it?’. I just followed the apps and was just very determined to do it, some runs were brilliant and some harder than others. I won’t lie, a lot of the time I was close to quitting, but I didn’t. I haven’t. Not yet.

I am following a ‘42k’ plan now and seeing as this particular group of apps have worked for me in the past, I have faith that I can do this. Sometimes at least.

We took part in a 7k Santa Run at Virginia Water, raising money for Sebastian’s Action Trust, on the 13^th December, a whole 2 days after our Christmas party and if I needed an example to prove that alcohol and running do not mix, then this was it! I borrowed a Santa hoodie from a friend after she said the Santa suits that are given would drown me, I loved it and have since ordered one.  Ross wasn’t interested when I booked the race, but as we still felt rotten from the Christmas festivities and when he realised you could sign up on the day, he joined in too.

As it happens the Santa suits we were given were not on the big side and Ross preceded to rip his crutch putting them on, ‘no bother no one would notice’.  The café at Virginia Water was filling up nicely with big and little Santa’s and there was an air of excitement, especially from the big ones. Santa selfies everywhere.  We were huddled together for the warm up and a few lunges later Ross’s crutch problem was quite a lot worse, ‘er….no bother no one will notice’.  We were counted down to the start and off we went, I recall saying to my friend that had come to watch, ‘its only 4 miles, we will be done before we know it’. No problem.

Virginia Water is beautiful, it honestly is the most loveliest place to run and makes it almost enjoyable, you get lost in the surroundings. I was so lost in the scenery I didn’t realise I was running on my own, where was my husband? I turned around and realised I was headed for the lake….I am rubbish at running and turning my head, I tend to run in the direction I am turning towards, fine in a park not so fine on a pavement, actually thinking about it this also happens when I am on a bike…. Anyway, I spot him, he looked like he was struggling, but I am not sure if it was due to the running or because he had one hand holding his phone to his ear, the other holding up his trousers.  Oh people can notice….  so I simply turned around and carried on (sorry Ross). I was definitely struggling but I wasn’t doing any other activities so I knew it was just the running that I was struggling with.  I was over taken by a mum and her two young children at this point. The little boy kept turning around, I am not sure if it was my face or my panting that held his attention, I just hoped it wasn’t a smell of whiskey pouring out of my pores.

Ross caught me up, it was about 1.5 miles in and he was still holding his trousers up, we ran for a little while longer when he must have had enough and ripped them off, so masterful. It was at this point we were overtaken by a tall Santa and double buggy.  At 2.5 miles I said ‘I can’t do this’ and stopped.  Ross stopped as well and said nor could he! Oh dear! This is not good, not good at all. We walked for a couple of minutes when two people ran passed us, one with ‘Blind’ written on her hi-vis and the other with ‘Guide’, it was a fabulous sight and I was so happy to see it.  I looked at Ross and said there was no excuse not to be able to run, we could blame a late night or too much alcohol but at the end of the day these were nothing more than excuses and rubbish ones at that. Off I went, leaving Ross behind (sorry Ross…again).

A very welcomed sight!

I wasn’t sure if Ross was running, still walking or sitting down, but I knew at that point that I couldn’t/wouldn’t stop again. I was close enough behind the two lovely ladies to be able to hear the guides instructions and they were brilliant.  I found myself following the guidance as well and noticing things I would not have normally noticed, i.e. that the path was at a slight slant and to mind my footing.  When the path was clear they let go of each other and ran free, they would then re-join if things got a bit busier. They were completely in sync with each other, a real team and it was so clear to see.  My stride matched there’s so we started chatting (I have since found out that if I can talk I am running at my steady place) they had been running together since June and were in training for the London Marathon. How amazing is that!

I finished up in 37:14 not too bad at all considering. Ross was not far behind and we  raised a lot of Christmas cheer later that day, my husband and I. When we ordered our Christmas food from Tesco on the way home, we heard someone say ‘Isn’t it nice to see people getting into the spirit of things’.  Next stop was Longacres Garden Centre to get some decorations, where we were witness to a few nudges and points, this is when I decided to put my medal on, just to make it clear that I don’t normally dress like this.  Last stop was Nottcutts Garden Centre to get Stanley and Flash (our cat and hamster) their Christmas presents, we went pretty much unnoticed there until the lady at the till said what a lovely coat I was wearing.  Home James….Now!

The day after the Santa Run, I ran my first official training run. It was a 30 minute run so about 3.1 miles. Again though, I stopped at 2 miles with nothing left to give. It was only for a couple of minutes, but enough to make me a little worried. Normally for me after a bad run, a good run comes along next (I have also heard that 1 run in 4 is bad, 1 is ok and the other 2 should be amazing).  Clearly not.  I carried on anyway and put it down again to too much weekend fun.

My next run was the day after, it was supposed to be 70 minutes in total. 20 minutes of normal (steady) pace and then 6 x 2 minute intervals at a faster pace, finished off with a 20 minute finish at steady pace again….. Well there was another problem…. I fell asleep so that was the end of that.  Already, only two days in an had missed a run…. arrghhhhh! I woke up and set my alarm for 5.15am the next morning.  I had to get up! I did! But goodness, how hard did I make that! Next time I need to be organised, it’s no good getting up and crawling around in the dark not having anything ready, untangling my headphones that were stuffed in a drawer, making sure I am putting my sock on the correct foot (I am not sure if it matters, but why would they have ‘L’ or ‘R’ on them if it didn’t?!) All this activity before half 5, is not my idea of a good time, but like I said I made it, I was up, I was out and I had gone a bit down my road when my 5.30am back up alarm started going! Oh man.  I need to keep my iPhone in its protective case when it is in the arm pouch as otherwise it slips down my arm, no idea why as I don’t have slim arms, in fact I regularly get arm envy, there is so much plastic between my finger and the phone as well as a crack on my phone case right where I needed to swipe the alarm off. It wasn’t recognising me at all, it was only letting me hit snooze, well that was annoying…. I persevered for a little while but all it was doing was making me realise how early it was and that I should be snuggled up, I stopped to take it out and turn it off.  That was the end of that.  The alarm and the run.  It was pretty appalling to be honest. I also realise that I have one speed and one speed only, running intervals are lost on me. I much prefer the 5k and 10k training where intervals actually meant walking in between!

I have to be honest though, it was a really nice time to run, the streets are much busier than in the evenings and there was a hive of activity, people getting ready for work, getting milk and their papers from the local shop, chatting away at bus stops and walking their dogs in their pyjamas. It helped that my naturally nosy nature helped pass the time with questions to myself like, ‘I wonder where they work?’, ‘Where do they live?’ ‘Why don’t they drive?’. Honestly, if you have things to think about a few miles can pass, in a flash. I had their lives pretty much mapped out.  If I could get into a routine of running early in the morning I think I would prefer it, but the chances of it happening are very slim.

The whole run was like I was running in syrup and when I turned into my road, I sighed a huge sigh of relief and thanked the lord that it was over.  I completed it and I felt good about that, it’s always nice to hit ‘Did it’ on the app.  I was also happy that if I hadn’t ran first thing in the morning, I would never have known why my electricity bill is so high, my house was lit up like the Blackpool Tower, a beacon of light, a signal to the planes that the runway was near. Why every light needed to be on I will never know, it won’t be happening again though, I have had words with the 3 occupants.

Since then it’s been ok, well, if you call already missing my first long run ok. I was meant to ‘do a 10 miler’ on the Saturday just gone but I just kept putting it off all day, until the day was gone.  In my defense there is so much going on at this time of the year, people to see, presents to deliver, food to eat, movies to watch. I found myself making my second deal, that I would do it on the Sunday and…. didn’t.

Actually maybe my training isn’t going ok. I felt as sick as a parrot but I have spoken to some running friends, that by the way are being very patient with my neediness and they assure me that it’s fine. I have done enough miles for it to be ok and I am ahead of where I should be. I hope they are right.  My guilt was so strong I am sure this won’t be a frequent thing, it can’t be.  I need to get myself into a routine of setting my alarm on a Saturday morning and just going. I have completed the rest of the runs though, Monday with the SRG we ran 4.2 miles and I learnt a new route that I then completed on the Tuesday. 7.3 miles on my own and definitely not as much fun.  I am still not sure on the ‘faster/normal’ interval runs but I am still trying to do it and I have gone back to listening to music or Lee Evans occasionally. I am not sure if it was because I had the earphones in for the interval training which ignited something in my brain or I just needed a change.  Who knows but next week might be different again.

Me right now…

My next run is tomorrow which is 70 minutes and includes the dreaded intervals. I will nail these and then my long run is on Boxing Day at Virginia Water again, which is 11 miles. Physically this should be fine, mentally is another story… My family are meeting us there as they are going to have a walk whilst I attempt to run it, twice.  At least I know I will definitely be up and running and it’s just the motivation I need and will hopefully get me more in the mind-set. I think the training is going to be tougher than I ever thought.

Oh and by the way the no alcohol is going great as well, I haven’t missed it at all. Honest…

Much love and I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas! Please have a drink for me.  Cheers!

Laura xx

5 great causes that need your help

Whoop…! It’s finally here

Miles ran since last blog: 43

Total miles ran since blog started: 110.8

Positivity Score: 10

So it’s the last few days until ‘Week 1, day 1’ and me not skipping a run for 16 weeks. No more ‘I will get up early in the morning’ (It never happens). No more ‘I will do double tomorrow’ (Sometimes happens). No more ‘Ah I will catch up next week’ (This kinda happens) and this also means its 110 days till Gay Paris! Plenty of time, what’s the problem after all its only 26.2 miles!

All I can say is thank goodness it is here as during my slight resting period I managed to put on half a stone! I now realise the downside to losing weight is it goes back on, quickly. No surprise really, I am addicted to Bailey’s and the amount of sweets, cakes, chocolates people are bringing into the office is verging on abuse. For me resting clearly equals eating…….a lot! Another couple of weeks and I dread to think what would have become of me. Possibly the same thing that used to happen to Ricky Hatton before he starts training for his next fight!

Since booking my Marathon on Tuesday the 8^th September at 09.10am, 5 days before my 40^th (midlife jumps out doesn’t it), I have not only been counting down the days until the BIG event but also until my ‘official’ training starts.  I worked out early on when I could have my last proper drinky poo’s without guilt and apologised profusely in advance to my friends and husband who were sharing my table at the Charity ball on the 5^th December (I actually was very well behaved, you know the saying what you can’t remember didn’t happen, well like I say I was very well behaved) Luckily for me my work’s Christmas party was booked for the week after –Yippeeee! I have another chance to act outrageously and really make any apology worthwhile. Well, it will be 4 months before I can put the world to rights, dance like no one’s watching and sing like no one can hear, so I think I deserve to do all these things and I also think I can quite possibly get away with it. I have definitely earned a pass in my eyes. Oh how I am going to enjoy this weekend….!

As you may know, I have ran 4 Half Marathons (in 8 weeks) since the 8^th September 2015, with mixed reviews and clocked up a few miles in between. I tried to rest as much as possible but in the last couple of weeks I have just wanted to run again (not just because of the weight gain issue. No, really) and I am definitely starting to itch for more races.  It really is like a bug and I have it. I haven’t felt this positive in a long time and I really can’t wait to get going and get the job in hand on foot, done.

Unfortunately I have no races to report on, so I have no gasping for breath, joys of PB’s or knee pain so bad that my daughter still talks about the ‘embarrassment I caused her whilst walking around London’ stories. On the plus side there are also no new monster photos of me all over the World Wide Web. Wonderful! So what has been happening? Well, let me just write it down and see where it ends up. I think I might disappoint a few of you, expectations for this diary are far too high and need to be lowered, very quickly, in fact lower them right now! Are they lowered? Good, OK.  Carry on.

On the 22^nd November I attended a Blind and Partially Sighted workshop, organised by Colin from the Runnymede Runners in Egham .  WOW is all I can say. WOW, WOW, WOW pretty much sums up those few hours.  We met at 11am on a cold Sunday morning, I knew 20 of us had planned to attend but I wasn’t sure what to expect at all.  We started off with a nice cup of coffee and a biscuit, which is always a good way to start.

The Group

Over the couple of hours that we were there we learnt so much, not only on how to guide and what to expect, but about the different visual impairments.  The trainer, Christine Benning from the England Athletics, had around 10 sets of glasses that were simulated for different visual impairments. They ranged from just under the required sight for driving, right through to complete blindness. It was both practical and thought provoking on how many people view the world and how much we take for granted.

After watching an educational video, we went outside in pairs to put into practice what we had learnt.  We took it in turns to be either the sight impaired, or the guide. Michelle (my partner) and I had ‘OK’ glasses, we could make out shapes and possible hazards, but it was a great practice run for when we then moved on to the complete blackout eye patches.  I did feel a little self-conscious about what I was saying and whether I was giving too much detail or not enough, but I guess if this was the real deal, you would communicate with each other on what was needed, expected and what worked for you both.  It would be a learning curve for each person you supported as no one is the same after all.

I took the first turn in wearing the blackout eye patch, it was so scary! As I said earlier, we had previously learnt to talk through the surroundings with our partner, i.e. when you were moving onto grass from tarmac, if there were dogs or pedestrians in close proximity, when we were passing things, like a bin for example. When my sight was totally compromised, it was apparent how you really needed this detail. As a sighted person you just move from one gradient to the next with ease, but for a non-sighted person this has a massive effect on you and therefore your running. For instance, it was actually a shock to feel grass after tarmac.  It also became very clear that if you can see, you can’t really feel slight undulating ground, yet when your sight is impaired a slight change in terrain feels like a hill.  For you to be able to guide your runner, you both hold onto a ‘lead’ (I am sure there is a correct term for this, but I can’t remember what it is and Google is not helping, it either recites verses from the bible or thinks I want a guide dog lead, this is not what it was at all).

Michelle was much more confident.

Anyway, as it happened the ‘lead’ was not really required for me as I felt so disoriented I had clasped myself tightly onto my partners arm, of course it was impossible to run like this, unless of course you were in a three legged race, but seeing as I was only going a little quicker than walking, it was fine!  It is TOTALLY amazing that sight impaired runners go as quick as 8 minute miles. I mean, to run this fast anyway is FANTASTIC, but to run this when you can’t see clearly or indeed at all, is doubly, no, trebly impressive! The trust required to be able to go this fast, is totally inspiring and I am in awe of them.

It really was a great course and I highly recommend anyone to attend one

Proud!

if you get the chance.  I am now registered with British Blind Sport and www.guiderunning.uk, so as soon as someone near me would like a guide and our paces match, I will be scared paired.  I am not going to lie I will be slightly nervous and I think it would take a couple of meet ups and few trial fast walks for us to build up trust and to understand the level of communication needed, but I also feel once these things were ironed out it would be one of the most rewarding things I would ever be part of.  It really was eye opening and that saying is truly meant for this experience!

On the 25^th November, my husband and I were very fortunate to be invited to the Samaritans Marathon launch in London. Here we met the other marathon runners, mainly for London, but there were also runners for Berlin, Brighton and 2 for Paris, YES!!! It was a really lovely evening, drinking prosecco and eating nibble’s and chatting away, about…. running, of course.  We did also talk about the good work that the Samaritans do.  It would have been rude not to after all.

We were split into smaller groups to have a tour of the working call centre (we had to sign confidentiality agreements for anything we heard or saw). The call centre was smaller than I had expected but it was so busy, we didn’t realise that they also offered a face to face service, where people in distress could come and talk to someone. Sadly I heard the doorbell buzz 3 times whilst we were there, but on a positive how great is it, that these people could go somewhere where they could talk to someone.

There were 5 volunteers on the phones and one manning the texts. All the face to face meeting rooms bar one were engaged with volunteers, this was at 8pm on a Wednesday night.  There are 201 offices in the UK and Ireland and 16 of these are in London altogether they have received 68 million contacts, in the form of phone calls, texts and face to face contact.  Such a massive number and so many lives helped and quite possibly saved.  There were also rooms for the volunteers to sleep, this is to ensure their safety between shifts and so they wouldn’t be travelling to and from home/work in the middle of the night, there were hairdryers, straighteners anything you needed as many of the night-shift workers would go straight to their ‘paid’ jobs that morning.  There was a real friendly atmosphere at the centre and hats off to the wonderful people who volunteer to help, you do an amazing job! The visit was so motivational and really made you want to help as much as possible, so much so, my husband is considering running for them (Venice here we come!) I mentioned to Ross in ‘Yo Sushi!’ (I cannot believe I talked him into going there later on in the evening – great day all round), that all the charities should invite you to a launch party to meet people and to see where your efforts would be put towards. Not only did it make you feel appreciated and motivated, it really spurred me on to do better than I already wanted to anyway. I suppose he was right though in his response, that really the other charities I am running for couldn’t invite you to a science lab or hospital where adults or babies were ill and being treated. Fair dink-um.

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/littlelau1

Since last writing, I also started running with another local club the Shepperton Running Group and I very nearly ran with another one called The Staines Strollers, I say ‘nearly’, as I was there and they were there, we just weren’t there together.  I thought we were meeting outside Staines Police Station, but they actually meet outside the Staines Law courts, easy mistake to make brain, kind of. I am sure they are a lovely bunch and will hopefully meet them soon.

I had my first long run with the SRG on Sunday 29^th November, they meet at Walton bridge at 9am, I don’t know Walton at all, but I am desperate to run different routes, sometimes it’s the little things that make all the difference. I didn’t really know what to expect as I couldn’t really grasp how this works with so many people at different paces, would I just be running on my own? Would I get lost and just hope that I find my way back? It was a cold windy day when we met and I was just in leggings and a short sleeved t shirt, people commented on how cold it was and how freezing I must be, but I looked at their wrapped up selves and thought ‘how on earth do you run with sleeves?’ I got flustered just seeing them. I explained that I get so hot that I start feeling ill, its either that or strip. I am not sure if that was the point they wanted to run a longer distance, thus not going the same way as me, possibly, but luckily for me I didn’t scare Hanna and so we decided to run together. She is training for a half so we wanted to try and do 9 – 10 miles, Steve showed us the route and off we went, gosh I didn’t realise how hilly Walton was! Thanks to my running buddy we managed to get over them, she definitely got me up them and she definitely got us back to the car park, as I didn’t have a clue on where we were. In fact she was brilliant to run with AND I didn’t have my headphones (I am getting so good at this). I can even now talk and run, well a bit, well not consistently, but I am much better than a few months ago, she definitely heard me say I can’t do this, whilst showing me a great way to run up hills.   It was the first time I have done a long run with someone other than my husband and luckily she didn’t bat an eyelid when I said I have to take my top off (maybe I am not that clear still) it’s not a pretty sight, but I get an overwhelming faint feeling occasionally and its strip or stop.  I can’t stop so unfortunately it has to be a strip. We completed just over 8 miles, in a good time.  We said our goodbyes and I went to save the run on my watch, you do realise if it doesn’t load on Strava it didn’t happen.  This should have been the end of this, Ross was waiting in the car for us to go Christmas tree shopping, but no, it said 8.3 miles.  My watch said 8.3 miles, I couldn’t leave it at 8.3 miles, I had to carry on till 9 miles, so I mouthed to Ross ‘one minute’ I meant nearly 10 and off I went in a straight line. I am not sure why my sense of direction is so bad, but it’s actually a real hindrance in running, I am sure I am missing out on some great runs, as I really do only go straight and then turn at the halfway mark. The most annoying bit to this story is that after all that, it only went and recorded 8.9 miles on Strava, arrghhhhh.  Why?! The rest of the runners finished at the same time as my last mile, but they had completed 11 miles, how quick are they!  All in all it was a great.  It was really good to run somewhere different and to meet more new people. I since found out we went a different way to what we were supposed to (This doesn’t surprise me at all) but we got back OK so we wasn’t lost so that’s all good! Hanna clearly has a better sense of direction than me. Another plus I had lots of calories for lunch with my best buds!

The following week I did a long run with Chris from Runnymede Runners at Virginia Water. It was also a great run, it’s beautiful there! Chris was great company, we set out to do 10 miles, but he had a race the following day so we ran 7 miles together and then I carried on to get my 10. Chris gave me clear instructions on where to go for a perfect 3 mile run but of course I didn’t follow them> I think I got the totem pole and the flag pole mixed up, so I did what I always do and went straight for 1.5 miles and turned around, this is where I bumped into Ross and Amy. Ross was doing 6 miles and Amy cycling around, what a perfect start to the day.  I looked at my watch when I reached the car park and as it was on 10.13 miles (do you see the problem here?) I just ran around the car park with Amy for a bit to get to 10.50.  Can you believe 10 miles is now my favourite distance, it wasn’t that long ago that 6 miles was, unbelievable.  Who would have thought it, definitely not me!   I wonder what my next favourite will be, time will tell! This was my longest run without headphones (I have ditched them on recommendation from other runners and so far so good, something that I never thought I could ever do. I really recommend it though, the earphones were actually stopping me from doing what I wanted to do and just ‘zone out’. I have said to myself that when I get to 20 miles I will listen to my top 5 motivation tunes as this is the toughest part of a Marathon, (so they say) I will let you know WHEN I get there, not IF.

It really is handy to know of other groups, as you and I know, sometimes life takes over and things get in the way.  The SRG train on a Monday’s and Thursday’s, RR’s train on a Tuesday and Thursday and the SS’s train on a Wednesday (they don’t meet at the Police Station), so between them all it works really well, even the long runs.  The Runnymede Runners go on a Saturday and the Shepperton Running Group on a Sunday.  It’s perfect and they are all so welcoming! It’s a real team spirit and luckily for me many of them are in training for Spring Marathons, so the support will be hopefully be fantastic!

The groups are also very social, with Christmas do’s and trips to the pub so it’s not all about running, you will be pleased to hear.

Talking of support I feel I should mention a Facebook group that I am a member of, it’s a closed group so you can talk about all aspects of running safe in the knowledge that your friends are not yawning at their news-feed… I mean don’t get me wrong I still post A LOT of running stuff on my profile, lots of distance pictures and sport shorts, but I think people would really de-friend me if they had to witness conversations on watches, trainers, training plans, knee pain, shin pain and basic running pain (and joy, it isn’t all pain). The group is called Running the distance, and they are amazing!  Please join if you too like getting support at a drop of a hat, there is always someone on line to help, BUT of course this works both ways and you must support as well, it’s not all take, take, take with our group, oh no… give and take is a requirement, as well as always showing off your bling (medals), your legs and your awful toenails. You wouldn’t believe how much medal envy I get and how many races I will enter just to get one of the ones I have seen (Loch Ness being top of that list).

It feels like a lot of my life is taken up with running, thinking about running, and talking about running since September and I really can’t wait to run the Paris Marathon. As much as this is now very much a personal goal for me, I do hope to raise as much money as I can in the process too, even hoping there will be more marathons after (seriously, have you seen the Loch Ness marathon medal?!). This opinion may change on April 4^th 2016, the day after I (hopefully) complete it. A lady giving a speech at the Samaritans, said she did SO well in her first marathon, she really didn’t need to do one again, EVER.  This might be the case for me, once may be really enough.

Not far really is it… Gulp!

You will be pleased to know though that any future marathons I decide to do, if I do, will not mean me rattling a tin around, you will just have to suffer the Facebook posts.  This isn’t because I don’t want to help charities it’s because I am not finding the ‘money’ part of it very easy and although I don’t HAVE to raise this money, I think this will be my one and only time of actively partaking in charity work of this scale, so I would like it to be as successful as it possibly can be.   So many people ask for sponsorship for so many worthwhile causes I do think ‘why should people part with their cash for mine?’. These are causes close to my heart but quite possibly not to others so with this in mind, I am organising a couple of events to help. This way it’s not just a case of sponsor me, sponsor me, it’s a more of us working together and hopefully having a bit of fun as well.  Win Win.

One is a virtual run in January and the other a local quiz night in March.

Virtual run

All the details for this can be found here on my Facebook page www.facebook.com/lauradoesparis for those not on Facebook you can go straight to www.runavirtualrace.com. This is the first time I have ever organised something like this. After it taking me 4 hours to actually understand a Paypal button (to try and add it to anything was actually one of the most frustrating nights of my life) luckily for me my husband knows his way around a website.  This wouldn’t have happened without him. Period.  I have also been very lucky that a local business has donated medals meaning more for charity!

I am hoping that many of you sign up as it will be a great way to start the year and I hope you all have a bit of fun with it.  We now have a definite race with 18 places gone which means nearly £200 for charity! Thank you to all thouse that have signed up, you lovely running the distance lot, who I really do think of as good friends! I have signed up for all 3 distances and I promise I wont cheat and make myself top of the leader board for all of them. I really can run a Half Marathon in 1:30!

When I have more confirmed details on the Quiz night I will share this with you. I have to be honest here, I have organised a quiz night before, it was great fun but the website I got my questions from may have been a bit questionable….  There was a huge debate on whether Hong Kong was really the nosiest city in the world. It isn’t. It is in fact Mubai. In addition to Mumbai-gate, picnic was apparently the most ridiculous answer for ‘What is a meal in the open air called?’ Once everyone had stopped arguing it really was a great night, please do not let this stop you entering when the time comes!

So that’s it really from me, this seems to be more informative than a running diary so why not add a few additional points that I think I would have liked to have known early on:

• If you are hurting change your trainers, my knee is GREAT and I wish I had done it sooner.
• Meet up with running groups in your area – everyone is so friendly and there is no need to feel self-conscious or nervous. Everyone has the same goal as you, to train, to run, to learn and to meet like-minded people.
• Find Facebook groups, running forums, look on pintrest, so much support is available and people really do want to help you achieve your goals.
• Buy books, read about running, nutrition, training plans for what you want to succeed in e.g. a better time, a longer distance, barefoot running.  It’s all so accessible and the ‘Running the Distance’ group have recommended some great ones to me.
• Remember everyone has been where you are (if you are starting like me) and can guide you through all the things you are unsure of and people really want to share their experiences.
• Cut your toenails regularly.  They might not look like they need cutting but trust me these babies grow overnight and can cut your toe just like that, I had never realised that toenails can actually ache and I also didn’t realise they don’t just drop off, they go black, they then go a bit claw like and they hold on for dear life for months, catching on everything in sight. Geross but true!
• Try and get people to cheer you on when racing, it really does help when you reach your struggling point (12 miles for me at this point!)
• Vaseline.  Ladies, vaseline is your best friend (I am sure for gents to, but I don’t have knowledge of this)
• Bowel movements (sorry). Go before you go shall we say.
• Bladder control – it’s normal. No more needs to be said.
• Sports clothes, this is all you will look at. No more pretty dresses and definitely no more open toed shoes.  Take a look at www.tikiboo.co.uk, it won’t disappoint.
• Sports shoes – See above
• Races, everyone will tell you about races they see and hear about, this is actually great but can work out pricey (thanks Kym)
• Wherever you go you will be introduced to someone that enjoys running, I am not sure if this is for your benefit or the hosts (to stop you boring everyone else)
• Squinting, don’t do it, I have definitely aged this year around the eyes, I am putting this done to running and not growing older.
• Running in the rain is great – just hum eye of the tiger and imagine you are in a Rocky movie.

The best bit is along the way you will make lots of new friends, OK, some you might never meet in person but a friendship is a friendship and I think it makes everything a lot more fun!

So that’s this month’s update, not much to report running wise and I certainly didn’t expect it to be so long. Well done for getting to the end!  I want to thank all of you for your lovely comments, I am sure you are all very biased but it is lovely to hear. I really was in two minds on whether to post it but you talked me round!

Let’s see what happens next…. Hopefully a lot of miles, some understanding of speed-work and no injuries!

Lots of love,

Laura xx

Lest we Forget….

Source: Lest we Forget….